Services at the Weevil Student Chapel (located in the basement of De Soto Hall) begin at 10 am with a time of fellowship. Church coffee and Hostess Twinkies and Ho-ho's will be served. Worship service starts at 11 am. Pastor Raster will give a sermon on "Preparing Your Heart, and Not Just the Turkey, for Thanksgiving". All prayer warriors are urged to attend a special prayer time following the service, lifting up the Proboscis and Weevil State University.
Once again The Proboscis has proven to be a leader in the world of college journalism. We are the first college newspaper to have its online edition stolen by those who were upset by something we wrote. We believe the "perp" was Coach Bull Winston since he has been going around campus saying that he did. "I done it" he told your intrepid reporter.
We apologize for the lack of new material in almost two weeks, but when you have scoundrels stealing the stack of free electrons we post each day, what can you do other than appeal to the powers that be for assistance. Unfortunately, we haven't been able to find any "powers that be" so Coach Winston has been able to continue his nefarious deeds.
We are back only because Leroy Fuddpucker stopped by Coach Winston's office and spoke to him man to man about how he, Leroy, would like to get his newspaper without someone stealing it so he repossessed the Coach's computer.
Thanks Leroy and see Fuddpucker's Used Computers for all you data processing needs. Leroy says he has a good deal on a desktop with a slight dent.