The Proboscis
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
  Coach Bull Winston here. This newspaper business can't be that hard considering tyhe people you see in it. Why some of the reporters who show up at our games can barely spell football much less know anythin=g about it and as far as knowing anyting about anything else, well you just think about it.

I stand accused of nefariously stealing the electrons of this rag and I don't even knwo what nefariously means but I assure you I didn't do it. If I was to go looking for an electron stealer, I'd dtart over in the engineering school =not uin the athletic department. I don't think we even have a single player who knows what an electron is except for maybe Joey and he done gone and lost his mind and is studying and I can't get him to do anything.

Anyway, I'm sure you have already noticed that the qualkity of thsi rag ahs gone up alot since I took over a few minutes ago.

If'n we had had a few less distractions and could have won a few more games, I would be off at a bowl game and not here to do this so I guess y'all can be thankful for a less than good season for the Fighting Weevils.

Leroy Fuddpucker will not be making any announcements or doing any commercials while I publish this paper so if you want ot fgo to Mentone with him, then you had best look him up down at his store on Fuddpucker Sqaure.

What do you mean I need an editor? I'm the head-doggone-coach and I think I can write a few paragraphs without some preissy editor helping. 
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