The WSU campus has been quiet this week with the students being depressed by the loss by last weekend's by the football team, the big fire at Fuddpucker's Beverages before they opened for their "buy one, get the second free" sale on six packs and the fact that it is mid-terms. Coach "Bull" Winston has been seen wining and dining several professors from the Languge Arts Department giving rise to the rumor that several star Weevils are not doing well academically. With Quarterback D'Wontavious Jackson out with badly bruised hands, the Weevils' season looks doubtful even if we do not lose players to unreasonable academic demands.
Joe Lee Smattersberg has moved from the athletic dorm to Fuddpucker Hall. When asked if he was quitting the team, he said "No, I'm just tired from whuppin' upon them dummies who make fun when I study". At last report, most of the Coaches Winston are expected to be released from the Hospital in time for Saturday's game against Noxubee River (Mississippi) College