The Proboscis
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
  The Weevil State University Theatre Presents…

[Editor’s Note: The following article deals with an upcoming event to be performed at the Ted McGinley Auditorium on October 24. The play, a real famous New York one by some woman named Ensler, deals with a topic which some readers of THE PROBOSCIS may find disturbing or inappropriate.

This play has caused much tumult in the pages of the more traditional family newspapers in our area, in that the title contains a word referring to a particular part of the anatomy of members of the female sex. Newspapers have struggled with how best to report stories without having to offend readers or cause them to faint.

Some have simply used the word, which is just beyond the pale. Others have abbreviated the title to simply “Monologues”, while others delete particular letters from the word in question, leading to such things as “The ***i*a Mon*****e*”. None of these options seem to strike a good balance from the point of view of readability or dealing with the matter in a mature, rational manner. We have taken a slightly different tack, which we hope will satisfy our readers.]


The Birmingham News called it “frank, funny, sometimes poignant”.

Today, we are visiting with Cay Wooshley, a senior Theater major from Susan Moore, Alabama. The location—Cay’s off-campus apartment at #3 Winston Farms Phase 2, is a funky, urbane conglomeration of cast-off props and theater ephemera which fairly well looks as though it might have been torn right from the pages of Town and Country or Southern Living.

Cay, dressed in a light teal top and white slacks, pads barefoot from the kitchen before curling up on the sofa.

CAY WOOSHLEY: OH—I am SO sorry—can I get you something to drink? I have Cel-Ray…I have a friend, who is a theater major at NYU, that’s New York University, and he sends me some every month. You just can’t get it around here—I keep asking Tim at the Food Giant and he just like, STARES at me. I hate that. No offense, Tim—you don’t have to write that do you? Oh, it’s okay, go ahead.

I politely refuse the carbonated celery juice beverage and get down to business.

THE PROBOSCIS: Cay…

CW: Wait, hold on right there—it’s pronounced ‘key’, like Key Largo or Key Biscayne or Key West. That’s the spelling “en Espanol”—we have ancestors who were Spanish, from Mobile, and I think they were part of the royal family, and my mother always thought it was a beautiful name and sort of exotic and would be real unique when I was on stage. I was the only Cay in school, which was hard but I managed just fine.

TP: Sorry—so, Cay, tell me a little bit about “The Hoohoo Monologues”, and why you are doing it as a one-man show.

CW: Oh, gosh, where to start?! I mean, I just LOVE this play to pieces! You know, it was written by a New Yorker named Eve Ensler, and so that right there is just something, and to be able to add my own interpretation to it is just so thrilling. I have been a fan since I read about it in Variety, and I think that it will bring a little bit of edginess to the whole Tri-County area. I think that is SO important, you know. There is SO little edge here.

TP: And a one-man show?

CW: OH right, I forgot the question—yes, I tried to get the girls in the theater department to do it—I said “do it”—don’t print that…oh, go ahead… Anyway, none of them like it, the play, so I did an adaptation to read all the parts myself.

I think it really adds something to the whole thing, a layer of understanding and poingnancy to go along with the whole swirling rest of the humor, power, pain, wisdom, outrage, mystery and excitement hidden in those things.

TP: Hoohoos?

CW: EXACTLY!! And you know, as a man, this sort of exploration I think makes you much more sensitive to the real needs of women, and despite not being one, every one of your male readers who read this—YOU, and YOU, and YOU…

Wooshley pointed his finger vigorously at persons he imagines to be reading this article

CW: …all of you had a mother at some point in your life! Someone to make you take clog dancing lessons, and enter Little Mister Susan Moore pageants, and someone to take you to the Belk’s in Montgomery when they have a sale on cute outfits—someone JUST. LIKE. THAT. And that’s real important. Was I being too harsh? Don’t print that…well, go ahead.

TP: Cay, The Hoohoo Monologues has grown from an Off-Broadway hit into an international cultural phenomenon and has been performed in over 40 countries along with two North American touring companies, and is currently booked in over 160 cities in the US & Canada, and has been translated into over 35 different languages. Do you think your version compares favorably to the ones which use women in the cast?

CW: What are you trying to say? Has someone said something to you?

TP: No, I…

Wooshley jumped from the sofa and hurried to a back bedroom. In a moment, he returned, composed, but with red-tinged eyes.

CW: I am…sorry. That wasn’t very professional of me. That is one of the things in my Asset Book—I call it “Cay’s Asset Book”—that I am trying to work on. I have a…a difficult time…dealing with criticism of my work.. It’s my life, you know, and I know what some people have been…been…saying. It’s just like when I’m a bit slow at the Steer Inn with someone’s order, and they get all, like, “Where’s the manager!” and I get all, like, “I AM AN ACTOR!”—even though I want to direct—and they get all huffy and mean and…well…anyway, that.

TP: Sorry—Cay, as you know, here in the United States, and even in Weevil Station, the The Hoohoo Monologues has entered the popular consciousness and has been referenced on several hit television programs, including “Will & Grace,” “The Simpsons,” “Ally McBeal,” “Sex and the City,” “Dharma and Greg,” “Saturday Night Live,” and “Everybody Loves Raymond.” Do you see for yourself a career in addition to that on the live stage—television, movies, commercials?

Wooshley crossed his legs akimbo on the sofa, and steepled his fingers before pursed lips

CW: Hmm. You know, I think you HAVE been talking to someone—it’s like you have been reading my MIND!!

I love the theater, don’t get me wrong, but I think any actor worth his greasepaint wants to explore many different worlds before he becomes a director. You know, I have appeared in several of the ads for Ruitermann Ford-Lincoln-Mercury on the Bypass—they aren’t credited, of course, and I had some real head-butts with their cameraman on a couple—I will not work nude unless it’s integral to the storyline—but I think the “Waving Happy Customer (Man)” I did with the new Mustang last year was very, VERY, promising. I see myself being able to go both ways—live theater AND film.

TP: Thank you for your time today, Cay.

CW: EVERYONE COME SEE ME!!

The Weevil State University Theater will be presenting Cay Wooshley in “The Hoohoo Monologues” One-Man Show, beginning October 24 and running through October 26 at the Ted McGinley Auditorium. Tickets are on sale now at the box office and through Weevtick. Students $5, Faculty $8.75, General Admission $12. 
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