A Response To Our Readers
It has been brought to our attention by certain persons, who shall remain nameless, that they are disturbed and upset with this week’s seeming dearth of news and information. Some have even gone so far as to question the vaunted, award-winning, highly-regarded status of THE PROBOSCIS as a fit medium for their perusal.
Although such ignorance and silliness is probably to be expected, knowing such persons as we do, we believe it is not in our interest to allow libels of this sort to go unanswered.
Remember that the online version of THE PROBOSCIS is in the format of a “weblog”—not the usual format of our weekly paper version, available on campus and at fine establishments all around the Tri-County area. As such, even a weak-pated simpleton could see that the format is intended to be no more, nor no less, active than is absolutely necessary.
On those days when life in Weevil Station grinds to a standstill, our famous staff of literary geniuses will not post things merely for the sake of posting. To do so would make a sham and a mockery of all that journalism, THE PROBOSCIS, and yea, indeed, Weevil State University, stand for.
Would you, gentle readers, have us simply make up wild concoctions of fable and fantasy, just to feed your insatiable desire for verbiage?
Rest assured that no matter how weary, how otherwise occupied, how bereft of inspiration we may be at any one time, we will in no way endeavor to fill these pages with mindless fluffy meringues of thought—NAY, the grand pages of THE PROBOSCIS will not
be a stage for showy fripperies and fanciful flights of sophomoric literary onanism!
THE PROBOSCIS will stand tall, both in print and upon the crackling ether, as a shining example of journalistic excellence, not excess.
Of literary import, not ignominy.
Of all that is good and fine in the spirit of all the administration, faculty, staff, contract employees, students, alumni, friends, associates, acquaintances, and other such like, of Weevil State University.
In other matters, a pair of tube socks has been turned in to the Lost and Found Box at Art Frahm Hall.