The Proboscis
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
  LATE-BREAKING ANNOUNCEMENT

In a last-minute deal, the League of Weevil Voters has arranged for the Gang of 10 (otherwise known as the Democratic presidential candidates) to a debate here on the campus of Weevil State University at 7 pm Wednesday in the auditorium of De Soto Hall. Seating is limited to the first 500 students with valid WSU ID's, in addition to any staff member who calls in by 5 pm today (x667). CNBC-3 (local cable channel 113) will televise the debate live.

The moderator for the debate will be Norah O'Donnell. Chancellor Oglesby has graciously offered to host Ms. O'Donnell during her stay here, including dinner at the private dining room section of Bubba's Ribs and Stuff. The debate will center on criticizing President Bush, avoiding any detailed plans of what the candidates would actually do if elected. The three topics of discussion are: President Bush - selected not elected, big bad bully, liar liar pants on fire.

Each candidate will be given 90 seconds for each topic, with the lovely and talented Ms. O'Donnell choosing the order of the candidates. Selected members of the audience will be given a chance to ask carefully screened questions to the candidate of their choice for the remaining time. So as not to make the other candidates feel left out, the number of questions directed to Carol Moseley-Braun will be limited to 4. 
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