The Fighting Weevils were stunned this morning by the announcement of our 405 lb Center Joe Lee Smattersberg that he is scheduled for stomach stapling surgery in November. "We're stunned" said Coach Winston. Besides being most of the offensive line, Joe Lee is of the few Weevils who attends class. He says that he learned in a nutrition class that weighing 405 lbs at age 18 is not a good thing. Professor Tilly "Tofu" Thompson who teaches a nutrition class said "It is not a good thing" when contacted by The Proboscis".
Coach Bull Winston and the Weevil Booster's today demanded that the University drop its "Communist inspired nutrition classes".