The Proboscis
Wednesday, October 01, 2003

The Editorial Staff has just received this message:

From the Office of the Chancellor

In Re: League of Weevil Voters Democratic Debate

It has come to our attention that due to some rash and hateful vitriol from a student at Weevil State, the scheduled debate among the ten Democratic contenders for the office of the United States Presidency sponsored by the League of Weevil Voters has been cancelled.

It is the position of this office that the League of Weevil Voters, having managed to actually get the potential candidates to appear on campus, as well as to provide a nationally-known moderator (the competent and well-groomed Norah O'Donnell of NBC) for whom the Chancellor has already made private-dining reservations at Bubba's Ribs and Stuff, as well as at Top o' the Evenin' for a post-debate party, and that the League of Weevil Voters represents a much wider group of interests than the Society of Creative Anachronism, who are interested only in promoting their own interests, that:

a) The League of Weevil Voters does NOT have to cancel its planned debate,
b) The League of Weevil Voters is NOT to contact Ms. O'Donnell with any sort of information contrary to point a), even if after discussion it is decided to cancel the debate anyway,
c) The Weevil State University Chapter of the Society of Creative Anachronism is hereby placed on Organizational Probation Code 3, and
d) Mr. Bointnut is hereby placed on Academic Watch Status XI, as well as being added to the Campus Terror Watch List.

So ordered this 1st Day of October, 2003

The Official Campus Newspaper
Weevil State University

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Mac Thomason
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Sea Doc
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Other College Newspapers
The Auburn Plainsman
The Chanticleer
The Exponent
Crimson White
The Flor-Ala
The Tropolitan
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Other Newspapers of Interest
Pickens County Herald
Cape Gazette
The Times, London
The Wall Street Journal
Daily Mountain Eagle
Washington Post
The Greenville Advocate
Sumter County Record-Journal

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