The Proboscis
Monday, October 06, 2003
  Dear Editor,

Me and the other coaches are mighty upset at your misreporting my interview about our trip to Massche--, Massha, Mas---that Yankee state. We took the boys to a STRIP MALL, not a strip joint. See the boys was hungry and they had several different cafes in that there strip mall and we give each of the boys the NCAA limit of supper money ( I don't want to hear about y'all printin' any rumors about any extras from the Weevil Boosters) and sent them off, but it was not much use cause they couldn't find any stuff they recognized as food

You better start getting your stories straight or else I will have Luther and his first aid box come calling.

I'm optimistic that y'all will set this right.

Coach "Bull" Winston

[The Editorial Staff and Journalism Faculty stand by the story as reported. Coach Winston is reminded that the interview was recorded, and every attempt was made to insure his comments were not taken out of context.

Likewise, Coach Luther Winston should also be reminded never to bring a first aid box to a gunfight. Unless, you know, it's to use on himself. In that case, he should bring it. Ed.]
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