The Proboscis
Friday, September 26, 2003
  DOOFUS Meeting Notes (9/26/03):
[Dept. Of Old Farts and Undeniable Sequiturs]

After a brief prayer, we welcomed Prof. Felicity into our group. A motion was made and passed to wave the uniform requirements for her, since she has done a much better job at keeping in shape than the rest of us OF's.

- Chads vs. fill-in-the-dot(FITD): staff overwhelmingly voted for FITD, since successfully completing a ballot by FITD better matches the mental capabilities of the typical voter. Besides, it's not fair that some guy named Chad should be left hanging.

- No other decent TV stations besides TVLand and History Channel were found, except Billy Ray voting for "SpongeBob Squarepants". We reminded him (again) that that is a show and not a station. He said "Oh yeah" and then kept in the corner quietly singing the SpongeBob theme song to himself.

- It was agreed and unanimously passed that "Bennifer" was some crazy plot to sell movie tickets.

- The "yuan float or not" issue was assigned to the Monetary Subcommittee. Someone who muttered "why should we even care about those god-forsaken commies" was quickly shouted down, since without China we would not have a Wal-Mart, then where would we be?

Prayer concerns included folks recovering from Hurricane Isabel, the school shooting in Minnesota and for Pres. Bush doing something about that worthless UN. Meeting was adjourned and Jessie handed out some extra coupons he had for the Biscuit Shack. 
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